What Does Your Husband Do That Pisses You Off?

Part of my rationale for this blog is be a better husband to my SAHM wife. How can this blog help? Well, honestly, that's where my readers (all 3 of you!) come in.

Today I'm trying to figure out what your husbands that annoy you as a SAHM. All husbands do stupid things that drive their wives crazy, but I'm talking about SAHM-specific stuff here. It could be not appreciating the amount of work you do. Maybe they pass off all of the kid-related work to you even when they're home.

Whatever it is, I (and my fellow dads) want to know. We can only fix it if we know what we're doing wrong. So don't hold back. Come out with both barrels blasting.

Time Is Running Out

The Restaurant.com sale is almost over. Your chance to buy $25 gift certificates for $2 ends on Sunday. Remember to use the promo code SPECIAL.

And today is Friday (like you didn't already know) and that means you can get free chocolate at the Mars Company website.

Don't you just love great deals?

Treat Your SAHM To Dinner For Less

Restaurant.com is having another ridiculous sale: 80% OFF. That makes for $25 gift certificates for a mere $2. This is a superb deal that you can't pass up. Just click on the box above, search for restaurants in your area, use the promo code SPECIAL and enjoy a nice meal out on the town for a pittance.

Guys, Mother's Day may have already passed, but just think of the brownie points.

What Should A SAHM Expect From Her Man?

First of all, Happy Fatherhood Friday. I missed last week, but I'm back on the horse this week. If you haven't checked out the blogs over at Dad Blogs, you are truly missing out. There is some great stuff over there.

OK, so a couple of weeks ago I blogged about what a guy can realistically expect from the SAHM in his life. That post sparked a lot of great comments, and I don't think I really ticked anybody off. I also got a lot of interesting stuff about the whole "nothing but an apron" thing :)

So this week I thought I would flip it around and talk about what a SAHM can realistically expect from the man in her life. Obviously I'm writing this from the guy's perspective, so I'll be interested to see what the women think about this.

First and foremost, I think it is a must that the man RESPECTS his SAHM. This one is pretty much non-negotiable. I don't care how important you think your job is. I don't care how much money you make a year. Nothing is more important than raising your kids. NOTHING! So you better show some respect to the woman that (presumably) put her career and aspirations on hold to raise your kids. It really is the least you can do.

Next, how about some flowers once in a while? Is that so hard to ask? Or maybe dinner out on the town? Check out yesterday's post to get some great deals on gift certificates to local restaurants.

On the same note, SAHMs need a little "me time." At least a couple times a week she should be able to get out of the house and away from the kids to do whatever she wants to do. Whether it's working out, taking a cake decorating class or drinking a glass of wine with a couple of girlfriends, "me time" is terribly important. Just think about how you feel after 2 hours by yourself with the kids. Now multiply that by 4 (and that's assuming you're only away from the house for 8 hours a day) and you'll start to realize how she feels at the end of the day.

And finally, it's not gonna kill you to help out around the house. Do some laundry. Take care of the dishes. Pick up after the kids. When I talked about a guy's expectations for a SAHM, I mentioned that everything has to be flexible. And that' going to require the guy to pick up some slack. Or, just let the laundry go for a couple of days. It's not really the end of the world.

So what did I forget? What else should my wife expect from me?

A Husband's Realistic Expectations For a SAHM

For this week's Fatherhood Friday post on Dad Blogs I thought I would talk about what a husband/father can realistically expect from the SAHM in his life.

Now, I write this post with a great deal of trepidation. I realize that I could say something in here that could piss a lot of SAHMs off in a hurry. And believe me, I recognize that there are very few groups of people I want to piss more less than SAHMs. More importantly, I risk infuriating the SAHM in my life. And as much as I love and respect the SAHMs of the blogosphere, my SAHM is the only one that truly scares me. After all, I would like to have sex again sometime in this calendar year.

Having said that, it was actually a comment by my SAHM that even got me thinking about expectations in the first place (so it's her fault). She gave me what she considered to be a compliment one night. And I eventually took it as a compliment. her comment was simple, "Thanks for having such low expectations for me as a stay-at-home mom."

I don't think I have low expectations, though. I think I'm just realistic. I didn't marry June Cleaver because I didn't want to marry June Cleaver (plus, I'm pretty sure Barbara Billingsley is dead).

So, all that being said, let's get to the good stuff. What can a husband realistically expect from his own SAHM. I thought I'd start with a few things to NOT expect:

1. A home-cooked meal on the table every night when you walk in the door.
2. A wife that is dressed to the nines with a freshly ironed dressed and pearl necklace.
3. A spotless house.
4. A sex fiend waiting for you at the door in nothing but an apron.

In case you've forgotten, your SAHM is home all day with at least one child. Mine is home all day with three kids. All under the age of 4. One of them is 6 weeks old. If I come home to a Stouffer's lasagna, cars and baby doll accessories strewn about the floor and a wife in sweat pants and one of my old t-shirts there is NO WAY I can be upset. That's how life works out sometimes.

So what can you expect from your SAHM? Here are some thoughts:

1. Relatively clean, fed, well-adjusted kids. The real goal of staying home with your children is to provide them a first-class upbringing. So it makes sense to expect at least some results in the child rearing department.
2. At least some attempt to get cleaned and dressed. My thought is this: if I have to shave everyday (and I HATE shaving), you can at least comb your hair and put on something that wouldn't double for painting clothes.
3. An attempt to stay up on the laundry, dishes and general maintenance of the household.
4. Finding ways to save money or make a little money on the side. Since most one-income families aren't rolling in disposable income, every little bit helps.

The thing to remember, guys, is that none of these rules are really absolute. Notice I used the word "attempt" a lot. Some days none of this is going to happen. Some days all of this and more is going to happen. You've just got to learn to roll with the punches and love your SAHM even if she hasn't showered since Tuesday and the laundry is piling up.

And by the way ladies, the whole "coming home to you in nothing but an apron" thing should happen at least once while you're a SAHM. I'm just sayin'.

Protecting "Me" Time

It is vitally important for stay at home moms to have a little me time. I try to make sure my SAHM has some me time every day. There are times when I come home and she almost immediately heads out to return some videos, pick up that one last ingredient for dinner or return something to Target. I (almost) always offer to do these things for her, but she insists.

It took me a while to realize that she needs this time out of the house. Even if she gets out of the house with the kids during the day, she just needs a little time by herself. And it's not like she has been dying to return the movies to Blockbuster. The task itself is really immaterial. She just needs to be alone for a little bit.

After the baby comes, her me time will almost certainly be centered around trips to the gym. She really wants to get back into yoga, so it will be one of my priorities to let her get to a couple of classes every week.

After all, it's in my best interests for her to have that time to herself. If momma ain't happy, no one's happy!