Just a quick reminder. The Restaurant.com 80% off special ends today. You can grab a $25 gift certificate for just $2. Use the promo code SPECIAL to get this great deal.

Benefits of SAHM for Dad

Today is another Fatherhood Friday over at Dad Blogs. If you haven't checked it out yet, shame on you. There are a ton of talented dads (and moms) that you should be reading.

Most of my time on here has been singing the praises of stay at home moms and talking about what husbands can do to support them. Because I think that's important. Staying at home is a difficult job and requires as much assistance as possible. And I am more than happy to do my share to make sure this lifestyle works for my family.

But today is about me. After all, this is MY blog. I do all the work around here, so why shouldn't I get to talk about myself for a while. Don't worry, we'll get back to our regularly scheduled programming shortly.

Today we're going to talk about how dads/husbands benefit from the SAHM lifestyle. I think it's pretty obvious how children benefit. And there are plenty of discussions out there about a SAHM's gains from staying at home (and some obvious minuses). But what about the dad? What does he get out of this deal? Obviously I can only speak from my experience, but here is what I see as the benefits for me so far.

1. Less chaos. Especially in the mornings. Granted our kids are not in school yet, but our mornings have gotten considerably easier. We don't have to rush around to get 5 people ready for the day and out of the house by 7:15 in the morning. Which is good because we're not really big on mornings in our house. Now we have the ability to have a more relaxed start to the day, and I think that carries over to the rest of the day.

2. More home-cooked meals. Now before someone jumps down my throat, let me say that I don't expect my dinner on the table when I walk in the dinner every night. Far from it. But staying home has allowed my wife to cook more often. Which is great because my wife is a damned good cook (whether she thinks so or not). So this isn't about me thinking a woman should be in the kitchen, this is purely about my stomach. And my stomach is happy!

3. More time with my kids. Even though my wife is the one staying home, I still get to see my kids more. We have more time in the morning. I get to see them when I go home for lunch (though I do kinda miss my lunch-time runs). We spend more timing playing in the evening as opposed to getting ready for the next day.

4. Most importantly, my wife is happy. And that means the world to me. She loved her profession, but she was ready to stay home. The stress of working and running a family (I have no illusions about who wears the pants) was a big strain on her. That has all gone out the window. She is more relaxed. She is happier. She is awesome. And that makes me happy (and awesome!).

Time Is Running Out

The Restaurant.com sale is almost over. Your chance to buy $25 gift certificates for $2 ends on Sunday. Remember to use the promo code SPECIAL.

And today is Friday (like you didn't already know) and that means you can get free chocolate at the Mars Company website.

Don't you just love great deals?

The Power of the Garage Sale

Garage sale season is kicking into high gear all across the country, and SAHMS are ready to find those great deals. We buy all kinds of stuff for our kids at garage sales: cribs, toys, clothes, bedroom furniture, strollers. It amazes me the kind of deals you can find with a minimal amount of work.

So I want to hear about your amazing deals. Ever find a perfectly good crib for $25? A full set of toy cars for a quarter? Share with others your bargaining skills. Maybe we can all get some good ideas of things to look for.

More Freebies For SAHMs

You know you like free stuff. And you know you like fabric softener. So how much are you going to like Free Fabric Softener? My guess, a lot! Check out this website, answer like 3 questions about fabric softener (your opinion on fabric softener, not a quiz!), and get a free 23 load bottle of Downy Fabric softener in your favorite scent. Doesn't get much easier than that!

Also, the Restaurant.com deal I blogged about last week has been extended until May 31! So you still have 6 more days to get your $25 gift certificates for only $2. Click on the link in the blog post, find your restaurants, use the promo code SPECIAL, and save a boatload of money.

SAHMs Love Freebies

I found a new website the other day called Twimme. This website constantly updates giveaways, contests, freebies, etc. that are currently being tweeted on Twitter. So instead of wading through 500 updates from all of your Twitter friends (I'm still trying to figure out the lingo of Twitter), this site does all of the work for you.

So sit back, watch the giveaways update and save you some money!

Treat Your SAHM To Dinner For Less

Restaurant.com is having another ridiculous sale: 80% OFF. That makes for $25 gift certificates for a mere $2. This is a superb deal that you can't pass up. Just click on the box above, search for restaurants in your area, use the promo code SPECIAL and enjoy a nice meal out on the town for a pittance.

Guys, Mother's Day may have already passed, but just think of the brownie points.

Single Moms Have It Easier!?!

As a quasi-attorney, I really like lawyer jokes. And since I vehemently object to the text of the article I'm going to talk about, I thought this little cartoon worked perfectly.

Apparently the women that read Babytalk Magazine would rather not have a partner around when it comes to parenting. They think it would just be easier to do it alone. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?! Almost 2/3 of the unmarried moms that responded to the survey said it's sometimes easier to not have a husband or boyfriend. Their reasons, you ask:

• No arguing over how to raise the kids


• Don't have to worry about working on their marriage


• Free to follow their own dreams

I just loved this little gem of a quote:

"A friend of mine has two little boys and one very big one: Her husband is more
of a responsibility than a partner," says Amy King of Kissimmee, Florida. "I
would rather be single than in an unequal relationship. I don't have that cloud
hanging over me if the relationship needs work and I'm too tired to put in the
effort. And I don't have time to get lonely!"

Even some of the married moms agreed it would be easier to go it alone. A whopping 22% of the married respondents felt that way.

And here I thought I was being helpful. Apparently I'm just getting in the way and creating more work for my wife. Haven't men for years been berated for taking an active role in the lives of their children? We've told how important it is to be there, be helpful and be supportive. Then I go and read something like this. Almost makes me feel like men just can't win. Either we're not doing enough or we're in the way.

By the way, Happy Fatherhood Friday everyone!

And don't forget to visit the Mars website for your free chocolate this morning. Look here.

Great Gift Idea: Personalized Kids Books from I See Me!

If you are looking for the perfect gift for a child in your life, take a look at I See Me! Books. These books can be personalized with the child's name and picture. It's a great way to give a reasonably priced gift that is incredibly personal and thoughtful.

Click on the link above to check them out.

SAHM Writes Parenting Manual

So I saw this news story and thought I would share it. A SAHM from North Carolina co-wrote a parenting book with her best friend, a fellow mom. A sort of point-counterpoint book, one mom is a SAHM and the other is a working mom.

The whole point of the book is to show that there is no one single right answer when it comes to parenting. Must of us that check out this site have made the choice to have a parent at home all of the time. And that's a great way to do it. But it's not the only way.

It drives me crazy when parents think they have all of the answers. Or when they think their way is the ONLY way to do something. It doesn't work that way. No two families are exactly alike. What works for my family may not work for yours. That's why I've never tried to use this blog to convince people to become SAHMs. I just want to provide help to those that may want to take the leap.

Anyway, the book is called The Must Have Moms Manual, and you should be able to find it in bookstores now.

Free Chocolate Friday! Mars Real Chocolate Relief Act

The folks over at Mars (the makers of M&M's, Snickers, Twix, Milky Way, etc) are giving away free chocolate this entire summer. That's right, I said FREE CHOCOLATE!

The first 250,000 people to visit their website Mars Real Chocolate Relief Act every Friday morning through September will get a coupon for a free Mars product. The giveaway opens at 9:30 AM Eastern Time. So set your watches, put it on your calendar and get you some free chocolate!

More Thoughts on Dr. Laura's Book: "In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms"

I've been thinking some more about some of Dr. Laura Schlessinger's comments in the interview I posted a few days ago here. Specifically, I've been fuming about her comment regarding a father's ability to stay home with a child under the age of 3.

It is absolutely ludicrous to me that this woman honestly believes that a guy cannot successfully stay home with a young child. After all of the years where men have been bashed for not taking an active role in their kids' lives, this lady comes along and actually says that men don't have the ability to stay home with young kids.

Is that condescending to anyone else? Because, honestly, I think I'm a pretty damn good father. I don't know if I'd be a great stay at home dad, but that's not the point. I could absolutely do it, and do it well, if I had to. And I know that there are plenty of great stay at home dads out there.

Having a vagina does not make you more qualified to be a stay at home parent! That's just not part of the qualifications. It's all about your ability to provide for your children and do the things that will make them well-adjusted people.

Damn you Dr. Laura. I'm done talking about you.

She does, however, say some great things about stay at home moms, so I do appreciate that. Here's another interview if you're interested.

Last Day For Restaurant.com Promotion

I realize I've mentioned this promotion 3 days in a row, but this is just such a good deal. Usually you can get $25 gift certificates for $10. That's a pretty good deal. But for the rest of today, and today only, you can get 70% off. That means a $25 gift certificate for $3!!!! All you have to do is use the promo code "TASTY" when you check out. It's that simple.

And this is no joke. I took advantage of this deal myself. I got $75 worth of gift certificates for all of $9. I'm no mathematician (hell, I'm not even sure I spelled the word right!), that is a HUGE savings.

But you have to take advantage of this deal today! So get on it!

What Should A SAHM Expect From Her Man?

First of all, Happy Fatherhood Friday. I missed last week, but I'm back on the horse this week. If you haven't checked out the blogs over at Dad Blogs, you are truly missing out. There is some great stuff over there.

OK, so a couple of weeks ago I blogged about what a guy can realistically expect from the SAHM in his life. That post sparked a lot of great comments, and I don't think I really ticked anybody off. I also got a lot of interesting stuff about the whole "nothing but an apron" thing :)

So this week I thought I would flip it around and talk about what a SAHM can realistically expect from the man in her life. Obviously I'm writing this from the guy's perspective, so I'll be interested to see what the women think about this.

First and foremost, I think it is a must that the man RESPECTS his SAHM. This one is pretty much non-negotiable. I don't care how important you think your job is. I don't care how much money you make a year. Nothing is more important than raising your kids. NOTHING! So you better show some respect to the woman that (presumably) put her career and aspirations on hold to raise your kids. It really is the least you can do.

Next, how about some flowers once in a while? Is that so hard to ask? Or maybe dinner out on the town? Check out yesterday's post to get some great deals on gift certificates to local restaurants.

On the same note, SAHMs need a little "me time." At least a couple times a week she should be able to get out of the house and away from the kids to do whatever she wants to do. Whether it's working out, taking a cake decorating class or drinking a glass of wine with a couple of girlfriends, "me time" is terribly important. Just think about how you feel after 2 hours by yourself with the kids. Now multiply that by 4 (and that's assuming you're only away from the house for 8 hours a day) and you'll start to realize how she feels at the end of the day.

And finally, it's not gonna kill you to help out around the house. Do some laundry. Take care of the dishes. Pick up after the kids. When I talked about a guy's expectations for a SAHM, I mentioned that everything has to be flexible. And that' going to require the guy to pick up some slack. Or, just let the laundry go for a couple of days. It's not really the end of the world.

So what did I forget? What else should my wife expect from me?

SAHMs Need To Dine Out Too

I realize we're all on a budget around here, and the first thing that usually goes is dining out. Plus, it's never easy to go to a decent restaurant (and Applebee's doesn't count as a good restaurant) with kids.

But right now there is a deal going on over at Restaurant.com that is just too good to pass up. If you've never been to Restaurant.com before, here's the deal. You can buy $25 gift certificates to a number of restaurants for only $10. That's a pretty darn good deal.

There is a special going on right now, though, that makes it darn near impossible to ignore. If you use the promo code "TASTY" when you check out, you save 70% on each gift certificate you purchase. That makes a $10 purchase only $3. Which means you get a $25 gift certificate for only $3!!!!!!

I bought 3 $25 gift certificates for a total of $9! That is $75 worth of dining out for only 9 bucks! Sorry about all of the exclamation marks, but this is a hell of a deal.

The only catch is the promo code expires on May 16th. So you have 2 more days to take advantage of this deal. Get yourself over to Restaurant.com, use the promo code "TASTY," call up the babysitter and get yourself some much deserved me time at your favorite local eatery.

Free Books! Free Books! Free Books!

I'm sure everyone already knows about this, but apparently Dolly Parton has created a program called Imagination Library that provides one new age-appropriate book a month to kids under the age of 5 in participating communities.

The project started with Sevier County in Tennessee (home of Dollywood). The program was such a success that more communities around the country started to join the initiative. Today there are 556 counties in 36 states participating in the program.

The catch is your local community has to sponsor the program. To find out if your community is a part of the program, check out the Affliates page on the Imagination Library website. If your community is not involved yet, you can start the ball rolling by clicking on the Get Involved tab.

Future SAHM in the Making

I'm pretty sure I have a SAHM-in-the-making around my house. My daughter turns 2 at the end of this month, and she is already incredibly maternal. She loves to take care of her baby doll. She even tries to take care of her brothers. However, the other night she took her natural maternal nature to another level.

I should preface this story by saying we're not the most modest household in the world. We all tend to walk around in various states of undress. Our kids see us completely naked on a not too irregular basis. And I don't see anything wrong with that. After all, they're 3.5, 2 and 7 weeks old.


As an offshoot of that, my wife is not particularly shy about nursing our baby in front of the kids. They know he's eating. They don't really understand what's going on, though.


With that little bit of background, I was outside on the back patio with the 2 older kids the other night. It was a perfect evening, and we were taking complete advantage. My son was on the ground playing with his cars, my maternal 2 year old was playing with her baby in one of the patio chairs and I was sitting in another chair watching over my youngins.


All of a sudden my daughter proclaimed that her baby was hungry, lifted up her dress and put her baby doll on her chest to "eat." It only lasted about 4 seconds and, honestly, I was so shocked I didn't have time to react.


The more I thought about it, though, I'm not sure I should have reacted. After all, she's only 2 years old and is simply mimicking her mother. Yelling at her to stop would just be silly and counter-productive. But I can just see her "nursing" her baby doll at the babysitter and setting off a chain reaction with all the other little girls. Then I'm the dad with baby girl that introduced breastfeeding to a bunch of toddlers.


Oh the joys of parenthood.

Burnout Management for SAHMs

Read a great article on recognizing and counteracting burnout for SAHMs over at suite101.com's Stay At Home Parents page. Don't mind the "mums" by the way, you'll get used to it.

The author does provide some good ideas on how to deal with burnout. I particularly like the comments about reconnecting with family. I know that we have had to specifically make time for us after the kids have gone down. Who cares if the laundry needs to be folded?

There is one HUGE thing she did not mention, though. That's called "me time." I am a big proponent of my wife getting plenty of "me time." Whether it is time to go workout, take a cake decorating class (OK, so I benefit from that time too!), or taking some real time off for a girl's shopping weekend at the nearest outlet mall.

If a SAHM doesn't have any time away from the house and kids (and probably the husband too), she is never going to make it.

What do you do to stave off SAHM burnout?

Happy Mother's Day From SNL

I don't know if any of you watch Saturday Night Live, but I think it's pretty funny. This weekend they had a couple of different bits about mothers and Mother's Day. The first was a Digital Short with Andy Samburg and Justin Timberlake. It is a continuation of their D*&^ In A Box video from last year. This one is called MotherLover.

This also did a fake commercial (which is still one of the funniest things they do in my opinion) for a product called The Mom Translator. The Mom Translator helps kids understand who their mother is talking about when she butchers a celebrity's name. This is particularly funny for me because my mom is notorious for doing this.

When I was a kid I asked for the new Boyz II Men tape for Christmas. My mother called they Boise 11 Men. She also used to refer to the band The Gin Blossoms and "that Jim Blossom guy."

So maybe I need some sort of application for the Mom Translator that works on band names as well as celebrity names. Love you Mom!

What is a SAHM's Time Worth?

What is your time worth as a SAHM? How much should you get "compensated" for doing laundry? What about picking up toys? Making lunch?

They may sound like silly questions to ask, but someone does just that every year. Salary.com, a website dedicated to compensation analysis, annually tries to place a dollar figure on the work of stay-at-home moms. Cleverly released just prior to Mother's Day every year, the report determines the time SAHMs spend on the 10 most popular "Mom job functions" and tries to equate a dollar figure.

The 2009 report determined an average annual salary of $122,732, up 5% from 2008's $116,805 (but still way shy of 2007's $138,094 figure). A good chunk of the salary came from an exorbinant amount of overtime. The typical SAHM, according to the report, spends 94.4 hours performing "mom duties."

The survey designates a percentage of the salary to the Top 10 SAHM duties. For instance, housekeeper comes in at #7 on the Mom's Duties list and accounts for 7.7% of the salary. Chief Executive Officer ranks #1 on the list accounting for 19.9% of a SAHMs salary.

You can even customize your salary based on how much time you spend on certain tasks with the Mom Salary Wizard. Or print yourself a paycheck. But I don't suggest trying to cash it. Most banks really frown upon fraud.

Don't worry dads, there is a Dad Salary Wizard too. Just in case you thought they forgot about your contribution to the family.

Happy Mother's Day

Just wanted to wish all of the SAHMs out there a great Mother's Day. I hope you have something wonderful planned for YOUR day. Or better yet, I hope the people in your life have something wonderful planned.

If you do something truly great, I'd love to hear about it. I'm always looking for cool things to do for my wife.

National Mom's Nite Out

I hope all you SAHMs are prepared to celebrate National Mom's Nite Out tomorrow night. This nationwide event is billed as "the first nationally organized celebration of motherhood."

There will be online events via Twitter, Skype and a host of other websites. There are also a number of local events around the country. There is a list of live events here.

A ton of sponsors have offered prizes for a drawing on May 7th. You can register for the raffle here.

Anyone got big plans for National Mom's Nite Out? I'd love to hear about anyone that attends one of these planned events. This is the first time for this event, so I'm sure things will only get better in the coming years.

Perfect House Wife Video

Found this video on becoming the Perfect Housewife. Thought some here might enjoy it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oi0BN6BlDiE

A Husband's Realistic Expectations For a SAHM

For this week's Fatherhood Friday post on Dad Blogs I thought I would talk about what a husband/father can realistically expect from the SAHM in his life.

Now, I write this post with a great deal of trepidation. I realize that I could say something in here that could piss a lot of SAHMs off in a hurry. And believe me, I recognize that there are very few groups of people I want to piss more less than SAHMs. More importantly, I risk infuriating the SAHM in my life. And as much as I love and respect the SAHMs of the blogosphere, my SAHM is the only one that truly scares me. After all, I would like to have sex again sometime in this calendar year.

Having said that, it was actually a comment by my SAHM that even got me thinking about expectations in the first place (so it's her fault). She gave me what she considered to be a compliment one night. And I eventually took it as a compliment. her comment was simple, "Thanks for having such low expectations for me as a stay-at-home mom."

I don't think I have low expectations, though. I think I'm just realistic. I didn't marry June Cleaver because I didn't want to marry June Cleaver (plus, I'm pretty sure Barbara Billingsley is dead).

So, all that being said, let's get to the good stuff. What can a husband realistically expect from his own SAHM. I thought I'd start with a few things to NOT expect:

1. A home-cooked meal on the table every night when you walk in the door.
2. A wife that is dressed to the nines with a freshly ironed dressed and pearl necklace.
3. A spotless house.
4. A sex fiend waiting for you at the door in nothing but an apron.

In case you've forgotten, your SAHM is home all day with at least one child. Mine is home all day with three kids. All under the age of 4. One of them is 6 weeks old. If I come home to a Stouffer's lasagna, cars and baby doll accessories strewn about the floor and a wife in sweat pants and one of my old t-shirts there is NO WAY I can be upset. That's how life works out sometimes.

So what can you expect from your SAHM? Here are some thoughts:

1. Relatively clean, fed, well-adjusted kids. The real goal of staying home with your children is to provide them a first-class upbringing. So it makes sense to expect at least some results in the child rearing department.
2. At least some attempt to get cleaned and dressed. My thought is this: if I have to shave everyday (and I HATE shaving), you can at least comb your hair and put on something that wouldn't double for painting clothes.
3. An attempt to stay up on the laundry, dishes and general maintenance of the household.
4. Finding ways to save money or make a little money on the side. Since most one-income families aren't rolling in disposable income, every little bit helps.

The thing to remember, guys, is that none of these rules are really absolute. Notice I used the word "attempt" a lot. Some days none of this is going to happen. Some days all of this and more is going to happen. You've just got to learn to roll with the punches and love your SAHM even if she hasn't showered since Tuesday and the laundry is piling up.

And by the way ladies, the whole "coming home to you in nothing but an apron" thing should happen at least once while you're a SAHM. I'm just sayin'.